Monday, February 1, 2010

Sweet Dreams Are Made of...

For some time I have been having a sleeping problem. And when I do sleep I have very violent dreams that usually center around drugs and guns. In my dreams I am often the drug user or the person with the gun. But for some reason I can never fire a gun in a dream. It always malfunctions like the trigger doesn't work.

These dreams are very real. But, I can sometimes recognize it's a dream during the dream. I have had horrible nightmares where in the dream I am hoping it's a dream. They are so vivid and graphic that I often awaken feeling exhausted. That kind of sucks too.

Some people have Alice in Wonderland dreams. Some people dream of loved ones, dead and alive. Some people dream of their past. I dream of violence and despair. Many nights when I wake up from my dreams I write down a little bit about the dream.

In the morning I try to read my scribbling and make sense of it all. At times I think I am going mad because of all the violence I dream of. I am starting to think something organic in my brain changed permanently and I will never again be normal. This assumes I was ever normal though. 

But last night my brain took a vacation. Sort of. The following is what I was able to remember this morning by piecing together my notes from last night. Here goes (I am not making any of this up):

I was in the military again and my unit was going to the field. I was still wearing a suit and felt rushed because everyone had already geared up and was ready to go.

The interesting part is that my unit wasn't going to the field and my unit wasn't like my old Army company. Instead I was part of the Star Wars rebellion and the field was all of space. At some point I realized I was in the Death Star preparing for battle with the evil Empire.

All of the rebel forces around me were running. On my notepad I wrote they were hiding, which is odd. Rebels fight, not hide. Maybe they were setting up an ambush. I don't know.

Now here is where it gets weird. I didn't see Darth Vadar in my dream. In fact, none of the characters from any of the 6 Star Wars films were in the dream. Well, except one. Who was it? It was none other than Boba Fett, the baddest ass bounty hunter in the galaxy. In case you forgot, Boba Fett delivered a carbon-frozen Han Solo to Jabba the Hutt. "He's no good to me dead" Boba said to Lord Vadar as Han was removed from the carbon freeze as solid as a asteroid.

I am not a Star Wars fanatic. I just happened to be the right age when Episode IV was released back in 1977. I had some action figures. I even had a Millennium Falcon. And for a while I wanted to be a Jedi when I grew up. Hell, I still do. Jedi's kick ass. If I could move objects by just pointing at them, I wouldn't need to practice law. Would I?

In my opinion the first two movies were the only ones that mattered. Return of the Jedi was full of forested muppets. Eh. The three recent films, while nice to look at, just didn't have the "umph" the first two did. Yeah, watching Yoda fight with a light saber was nice. And Darth Maul was a pretty solid villain. But I couldn't swallow Ewan McGregor as a young Obi-Wan Kenobi. And that little kid that played Anakin Skywalker was too damn cute to grow up to be Darth Vadar, the blackest brother in the galaxy. No way.

And there I was in my dream, running past Boba Fett. Yes, running past him. I wasn't scared of him either. And that's probably because in my dream he was shorter than me. Yep, even with the helmet on, Boba was probably only as tall as Tom Cruise.

The question I have is: in the dream which side was Boba Fett on? The Rebellion or the Empire? He had no loyalty. He was motivated only by money. And why of all the characters in all 6 films, was it Mr. Fett that made an appearance?

If that was my subconscious self telling me that in reality I am just some short, money-hungry, hired gun with no loyalty...I am guess I am screwed.

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